Story #74 - Infinite Money, I Promise
A silly poem about a real asteroid and a fake relationship
Infinite Money, I Promise
The asteroid Psyche Sixteen contains
Quintillions of dollars worth of ore
That number is enough to break most brains
However much you think it is it’s more
One day when it is mined by human hands
Its great metallic treasures brought to earth
T’will scramble all our economic plans
That’s how much dough this dumb space rock is worth
Now darling when you ponder this rock and the wealth thereon
Does it really matter how much I buy from Amazon?
*
Psyche’s day lasts four hours but its path
Around the sun one time takes five earth years
To get there from here takes a lot of math
Enough to give a bunch of nerds careers
Yet with infinite riches waiting there
Surely the calculations will be done
And mining drills raised up beyond the air
Out into space when close the rock has spun
Now darling since at that point money’s value will decay
How can it be bad for me to get Starbucks every day?
*
I’m still not sure you fully understand
This concept of quintillions in cash
The banks themselves will probably disband
After we raid the Psyche sixteen stash
All debts will be forgiven I am sure
When all that ore enters our marketplace
Even the peasants will wear haute couture
When cargo frigates filled return from space
Do you lack faith in the march of scientific progress?
Or can I get a new car without causing you distress?
*
Marie Curie would mourn your lack of hope
Einstein would shake his shaggy white-fringed head
Do not be some naysaying misanthrope
There is no need for this financial dread
Have faith in the Enlightenment my dear
There is no height our reason cannot scale
We’ll strip mine that whole rock within the year
There’s no good cause our spending to curtail
Speaking of which I booked us for a Caribbean cruise
Is that okay or are you stuck on your cynical views?
*
And can I put some Gucci loafers on our credit card?
Or do you think some human endeavors are just too hard?
What’s that my love? Oh good, I knew your heart would come around
You’d trust the treasure that on Psyche Sixteen will be found
And that you’d know infinite money soon will be in reach
That’s why I sold our house and bought a mansion on the beach!
END
Thanks as always for reading! If you enjoyed this story, please help me out by liking, commenting, and sharing with others. Have a great week, and I’ll be back next Sunday with something fun.
sell everything!! wait, buy anything!!
I love your poems!