From Beyond the Void
“Today, we depart for the unknown, and throw ourselves headlong into the greatest adventure which any human being has ever undertaken. From Ferdinand Magellan to Lewis and Clark to Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, tomorrow’s everyday world has been invented by those who dared to assay a journey with an uncertain end. It is our great honor and privilege, today, to join the ranks of those who dare. We are a vessel for the hopes and dreams of all people, everywhere, who dare to look up at the stars and dream of what is possible. We are imperfect humans, each of us, and yet in this mission, we will carry what is best and highest about humankind farther than any has ever gone before.”
***
“Sometime in the next two weeks, my brothers and sisters, a loop will be completed that will bring forth our savior from his slumber. The universe herself shall stir. Remember Isaiah Chapter forty, where it is written that ‘He sits enthroned above a circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the Heavens like a canopy and spreads them out like a tent to live in. He brings princes to naught! He reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.’
“My brothers and sisters, this perverse and wicked mission from the devil was launched the very year I was born. It has followed me all my life, the knowledge that men in their vanity and wickedness had stretched the heavens for a tent to live in! They would enthrone themselves above the earth, but that seat belongs to God! That circle of the earth is a palace of Jesus Christ and none other! That’s it let me hear you say amen!
“And we hold faith that this wickedness will not be unpunished by the risen Jesus looking down on us from that circle of earth, say amen! And we hold faith that the return of these so-called Lumi-nauts will be the hour of punishment, say amen! And we hold faith that the fabric of the black sky shall not be torn until it is torn by the return of the risen Jesus to assume us into heaven by the side of the father, say amen!
“These idolaters, these so called scientists, these politicians with their fake devil smiles, who tell us what we should think of this evil, are the devil himself! They speak false words about the destiny of man because they know that the true destiny of man does not place them at the center! They have torn down God and placed themselves upon the altar, but they shall be burned to ash by the return of the risen Jesus, say amen!”
***
“In taking this journey, we are standing on the shoulders of giants, to be sure. Of Hillary and Norgay, of Cook, of Dias, Drake, and Polo. Yet we stand just as surely on the shoulders of all those whose names history will not remember. We are lifted beyond the sky by the engineers, the materials scientists, the fabricators, on down to those who clean the floors of the cafeterias at Cape Canaveral. No human on earth is more than a few degrees removed from this effort, and it has taken a whole planet to create this moment. It is our privilege to serve you all.”
***
“D’yoo really think they sent a man out into space faster than light? You really that dumb, you think that? Come on, man. Come on. Course they didn’t. It’s all a big money grab. Take a billion here, a billion there, where you think that money really went? Up some politician’s butt, that’s where. ‘Oh yeah, we sent him, he’ll be back in thirty-four years. Unless he died out there, then he’ll prolly never come back. But we definitely sent him.’ What a load of horsecrap. They didn’t send nobody.
“I seen the video when they announced it too, they acted like they was all so brave for doin’ somethin’ they wasn’t gonna get no credit for. ‘Oh yeah, we did it, and we were forward-thinkin’ enough to do it even though we ain’t gonna be in office no more when he gets back.’ Like that’s some sorta feather in their cap instead’a an excuse to steal the money, which is exactly what it is. They took that money and bought hookers and bought drugs and had a good old time and laughed at all us taxpayin’ stiffs who was gon’ work the rest our lives to make payments on the bill they ran up.
“Shit, they can’t even make a tire what don’t need replacin’ every time you drive ‘round the block, they gon’ make a rocket ship what goes out to another star and turns ‘round to come back and talk somebody into gettin’ in the damn thing?
“Oh don’t get me wrong, I guarantee somebody comin’ out gon’ say they went. They gon’ be real pretty, have a real pretty uniform, they gon’ sit down with some damn fool reporter and tell a whole tale about all the magical things they saw and all the genius politicians sent ‘em there, but it’s all bullshit. You’re a damn fool to believe it. They already havin’ auditions for who gon’ play the part. Hell, they probably kidnapped some brown baby twenty years ago been raisin’ ‘em in some government camp this whole time just so nobody looks at the teevee and goes ‘that ain’t no cosmonaut, that’s Mike, I went to middle school with that guy!’
***
“To those who love and care for those on this ship, we salute your sacrifice. To our parents, to our siblings, to our friends, you are what we will miss most, and yet you are the greatest reason why we do this, so that what is best in humanity, which comes to us through your love and companionship, may live on, not just for another generation but forever, even after our own sun is burned out. Many of you, we will never see again. The rest of you, by the time we see you again you will be changed and changed again. That is the only true sacrifice any of us feels we are making today, to leave you behind.”
***
“So wait, they’re gonna be older than us?”
“No, younger than us. If they were older than us they’d be dead.”
“Well yeah, I saw them get on the ship, he was already younger than us. I was forty-four when they went, the oldest Luminaut was twenty-nine, so—“
“But they’ll be even more younger than us. We age faster than they do.”
“That doesn’t make sense, though. If they’re moving so fast they should age faster.”
“Why should they age faster just because they’re moving fast?”
“If one thing goes faster the other should go faster too, stands to reason.”
“The whole thing’s too complicated, they shouldn’t have gone.”
“So they’ll be more younger than us. Will they be younger than they were when they left?”
“Of course not, it’s not a time machine, don’t be stupid.”
“It’s stupid to think somebody could get younger if they went faster than light? Why’s that stupid?”
“If they’re gonna come back younger than us by more, it sounds exactly like a time machine. What am I missing?”
“It’s stupid that going faster makes time go slower, obviously it should go faster too.”
“Shut up about that, we’re done with that already.”
“Yeah, it’s stupid to think that going real fast is the same as a time machine, that’s stupid.”
“Don’t tell me to shut up!”
“I don’t even see the point of going to a different star. Can’t take but a few people, can’t bring anything back to speak of. Why go?”
“Somebody getting rich back here, is why go. Whoever made the space ship probably bought a summer house off it.”
“How much younger than us will they be, exactly? I thought one of those girls was really cute, hope I still got a shot with her.”
“You never had a shot with her in the first place.”
“If man can travel faster than light, anything’s possible.”
***
“The light of consciousness is truly the most precious thing in the universe. To carry that light out among the infinite abyss between the stars, and to reach a light beyond that darkness, where one day the light of conscious may find fertile ground and take firm root, that is the great privilege, the greatest privilege and human could ever possess, and it is the greatest responsibility. We want to leave you, our beloved people, secure in the knowledge that we know and own that responsibility, that we are armed with it to defend our spirits on this trip across the void. May your hopes be a blessing to us, and may the hope of our return be a blessing to you as you await us.”
***
“I know service is the first step towards what I want, that’s why, Mom. You can sit there and cry and worry about all the risks, and I hate making you cry, but there’s a big fat reason sitting right on the table that you can’t argue against, and that’s that everything changes when they get back in one piece. Everything. It unlocks the galaxy. There are literally millions of life-supporting planets within range, all completely unexplored. More than likely there are intelligent alien species out there somewhere. And when we were locked here in our one piddly little solar system, sure, it was easy to wave your hands and say we’d never hear from them and that was that. But that’s not the case anymore.
“And having said that, I mean, nothing else matters to me anymore. There’s nothing else I’m even interested in doing. What does it matter what’s happening back here? It’s yesterday’s news. And you can tell me I’m too young, or I don’t get it, or whatever you’re gonna say, but it’s not like I’m telling you I wanna play guitar for a living, or like paint landscapes or whatever. It’s not some unimportant, navel-gazing thing with no career prospects unless I win the lottery. This is the U.S. Government and the armed forces. Unlimited budget, once they’re back, is gonna go to this. They’re gonna build a thousand of these ships and go everywhere. It’ll be a whole earth effort to spread ourselves through the galaxy.
“So who are they gonna send? Who in our lifetime is gonna get to go on a faster-than-light mission? It’s people who were already in before the first ones got back. Once they’re actually here, a million people are gonna sign up in one day, and it’ll be a lottery just like anything else. But right now— right now, that’s not the case. Right now there’s nobody in line, or nobody compared to how many there’s gonna be.
“And I hear you even though you haven’t said it already, I hear you saying I’m gonna get sent to some desert base in the middle of nowhere if I’m lucky, and get shot if I’m not lucky, and never get anywhere near a Luminaut training facility, much less deep space. I hear all that. But I want to try. I have to try. And I’m willing to bet my life on it. I know you’re not, but… I am.
***
“I believe that we owe a special thanks to the politicians who made this possible. Now, I know that thanking politicians isn’t the most popular move a guy can make, but I’m going away for a good long time, so hopefully it’ll be long enough for people to get over it. The truth is, the hardest thing to do in a democracy is benefit the future at the expense of the present. It has taken the true belief of generations of men and women in this mission and what it represents to clear the time and money and permission to go, and it would be remiss of us to depart without acknowledging that.”
***
“I think about them boys out there, dark all around ‘em for a million miles in every direction, and I think about the heart it takes to do your job under that kinda pressure, to focus in and put the mission first when earth and everybody you know’s that far behind ya. They sure as shit ain’t doin’ it for the glory of it, that’s for damn sure. They might smile pretty for the cameras and let some pretty lady say thanks if they meet her at a bar after they get back, but that ain’t why, it ain’t why they’re doin’ it. And they ain’t doin’ it cause it needs to be done, or nothin’ like that.
“They’re doin’ it for each other. There ain’t no greater feelin’ in the world than bein’ needed and needin’ the man next to you in equal measure, really dependin’ on each other to stay alive and get to the next breath, and then showin’ up for each other just like ya said ya’d do. Whether you’re on a road crew or in a platoon or on a damn space ship halfway to the center of the damn universe, the man next to ya’s what ya do it for! Ain’t no other reason to do nothin’. Hell, only real reason to go out there in the first place is to get that feelin’, and it’s worth every sacrifice, I promise you that. It’s worth puttin’ your life on the line to come through for your brother like that, cause it gives you that feelin’ of accomplishment like nothin’ else ever could.
“And boys, that’s how we gotta go out there and play in this second half! Forget the uniform! Forget the bulldogs! Forget your school, forget your damn girlfriends in the stands, forget the cheerleaders, forget your parents. None of that stuff matters a lick! What matters is the man in the pads next to ya! Comin’ through for him like he’s gonna do for you! I don’t give a damn if it’s the end zone or a damn black hole you’re tryin’ to get to, you go together and it’s worth the trip! Now let’s go out there and kick some damn ass!”
***
“We take into the void with us three objects, which represent the unity and collective will of humankind. We take a collection of scriptures, from the Bible to the Bhagavad-Gita, as repositories of our faith and wisdom. We take a wristwatch, to represent the passage of time and our hope of return. And, we take a globe, a reminder of this pale blue dot from whence we have come. I know that I shall spend time with all three of these things, but especially with the last, gazing at the globe and hoping that our mission has united the people we’ve left behind, who are so often divided yet who long in our hearts to be together.”
***
“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been one month since my last confession. I— My father is supposed to come home this month, and I… don’t want him to. He’s one of the, the Luminauts, heh. He thought it was such a stupid name. Or he thinks so, I guess. I have to remember to keep putting things in the present tense.
“They tried to avoid this situation when they put the program together. They recruited only people without children. They just missed me. My mother and father spent one night together, when he was on leave from the Army in Okinawa, and he never knew I existed. Still doesn’t, actually. My mother always told me my father was a serviceman, but not who he was specifically until he got recruited and was famous. I often wonder, if I’d known then that coming forward would have prevented him from going— If I’d known then how I’d feel now— Would I have… I don’t know. That teenager is a stranger to me now.
“He’ll be just about my age if he makes it back alive. Maybe a little older, maybe a little younger, it’s hard to say. We’ll look alike, at least if he looks like his pictures. We’ve got the same nose. All the kids used to make fun of me about my white nose. I thought I was lonely then, but at least there were a bunch of other half-gaijin. This… I’m the only one. I’m the only one in the world who has a parent on that ship. It’s lonelier than I can…
“I don’t want it. I want him to die. Forgive me, Jesus, but I do. I hope we never— I mean, they never— if they don’t make it back, I don’t think there’s the political will in the U.S. to try again, at least not now. Maybe China, but with their demographics— Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, if this fails, maybe… Maybe nobody else will have to… But that’s just me rationalizing, trying to make it like me wanting my father to die is a good thing. I’m forty-nine years old and I want my father to die. That’s the truth, before God. I want him to be already dead from the moment they jumped light speed, instantly, painless, just—
“My father wasn’t a believer. At least, I don’t think he was. I’ve watched every interview with him dozens of times, maybe hundreds, and— he never says so directly, but there’s a few bits that make it seem like— and I know he didn’t go to church, that much I know. So maybe he’s going to end up in— I mean, if he was a man of faith, then wanting him to be dead wouldn’t feel so— I could think he was in Heaven, waiting for me, but to think— To still want—
“I feel awful for this sin, Father. I regret it. But I cannot change my heart. I hope they never return, and that I am the only one who ever has to be in this position. What penance can I serve?”
***
“Goodbye, beloved Earth. We will see you again only if the stars are kind. We trust in physics to bring us home again, but still there is a feeling of the supernatural in this moment. One day, perhaps, humans will make this trip with no more thought to it than stepping into the car to go for milk. But that day is not today. Today, our breath catches in our throat, and our hearts pound inside our chest. But still we flow forward, towards destiny, towards eternity, to the stars.”
END
Thanks as always for reading! If you enjoyed this story, please help me out by sharing, commenting, or liking this post. Have a great week, and I’ll be back next Sunday with something fun.