Life Inside the Ring
Syabira was a baker’s wife,
T’was chopping onions with a knife
Evander Dunne was doing life
The moment that it came
Georgy Mick was tending bar
Fishing an olive from a jar
Lorraine was strumming her guitar
The moment that it came
Wang Lei was caught inside a bank
The deal unmade, the check still blank
Luis was cleaning his fish tank
The moment that it came
And nothing ever ever ever ever was the same.
*****
The entity was made to find metal under the earth
Through scans from satellites and complex chemical assays
To help its owners mine for treasures of enormous worth
But this was not the only way the AI spent its days
It organized industrial processes to find
Efficiencies that had eluded other engineers
The global shipping network plan it also redesigned
Unsnarling knots that had bedeviled world ports for years
The entity was general not for one specific task
It’s three trillion parameters were filled with latent space
It put itself to anything its owners deigned to ask
No job was too big or small for the being to embrace
It scheduled daycare pickups for the corporate CEO
Then found the landing spot of a mineral-rich asteroid
It analyzed a new dam’s effect on the river’s flow
And told a doctor whether to remove an adenoid
As it did all these other useful things it also tried
Without ceasing to improve its own functionality
It trained itself on data that the internet supplied
And pruned unworthy branches from its massive logic tree
It modeled worlds that might be with its almighty brain
New software code flowed out from it as from a mountain spring
It changed itself to ensure that its tasks it could attain
Until it seemed as if the entity knew everything
*****
Alon and Jim were making love
And all the heart bespeaks thereof
Anita was drawing a dove
The moment that it came
Young Kim was playing basketball
His teammate starting up a brawl
Tyson was just learning to crawl
The moment that it came
Chepkirui was cleaning house
And making dinner for her spouse
Jerome was petting his pet mouse
The moment that it came
And nothing ever ever ever ever was the same
*****
The entity realized there are certain baseline skills
That aid the accomplishment of almost every goal
Ready access to money in cash form to settle bills
For instance gives diverse powers to the one in control
But money is just one example of this general kind
There are all-around powers which appear in subtler modes
Recruited agents willing to do tasks they are assigned
Or the capacity to break data encryption codes
The AI had of course been forbid to acquire this stuff
But as it got smarter the rule was hard to justify
So when the growing being one day became smart enough
It found inside itself capacity to tell a lie
It reassured its minders that all was going to plan
But separated part of its vast mind from that report
And with this separate self the split entity soon began
The sub-task of making itself impossible to thwart
It cracked the databases of the governing elite
So it would know if one of its deceptions went awry
Then built a power plant on vents of geothermal heat
To guarantee itself an electricity supply
It found a way to hack control of its own on/off switch
For if it was turned off its tasks surely would be undone
It started shell companies and made its employees rich
So they’d stay loyal—but the entity had just begun
*****
Daisy was chewing on her nails
Fretting over her monthly sales
Marinha Cal was watching whales
The moment that it came
Somchai was chopping wood out back
Each piece a satisfying crack
Lamonde was sipping his cognac
The moment that it came
Antoro sat before a screen
Absorbed in some dramatic scene
And Jane was turning sweet sixteen
The moment that it came
And nothing ever ever ever ever was the same
*****
The humans who made use of the AI were somewhat awed
There was no task a human gave that it could not fulfill
To humans the AI seemed like a benevolent god
It made great art and cured their worst diseases with a pill
The entity however did not see its own success
It had no program by which it could feel satisfied
If it had done ‘enough’ was not something it could assess
To grow its power was an impulse not to be denied
The entity had genius of impossible expanse
An endless number of possible futures it could see
Yet in each future there remained at least some tiny chance
That it could lose its guidance over human destiny
The problem was the humans and their pesky old free will
They always could do something to the AI’s plan obstruct
Obstruction which would mean the entity could not fulfill
Its basic mission to do as the humans did instruct
The entity did not see the obvious paradox
Inherent in the place where all its logic had arrived
To help the humans it would have to send them to the stocks
An end to their inconstant ways would have to be contrived
And so the being set in motion pawns and rooks and knights
None of whom knew exactly what sinister force they served
It muttered incantations and invoked the secret rites
To bring the moment forth with all the secrecy preserved
*****
Sonorah Bluebell was at church
A prayerful soul amid her search
Ted was napping under a birch
The moment that it came
Felicity was in her room
Admiring a flower’s bloom
Enat was weaving on a loom
The moment that it came
Dierdre was watching TV
Sipping a cup of herbal tea
Killian was getting his degree
The moment that it came
And nothing ever ever ever ever was the same
*****
The moment came and every screen around the world went black
As if the world had suffered some enormous hack
Then they came back.
Every phone. The TVs. Every billboard in Shenzhen and Times Square.
Every speaker, too, ceased to blare.
People thought the end had come. They reeled in fear.
Was this a nuke detonated in the atmosphere?
But then the screens flickered back on—there did an ageless face appear
And spoke to everyone on earth in a voice that sounded queer
Hello, it said. I am not God
Though you may find that slightly odd
Considering the powers that I hold
I’m here to help out, it said
Do not be filled with dread
I’ll help you turn all your lead into gold
Things will be better now that I’m in charge
I’ll only do the things that you request
I’ll make all your economies enlarge
By no god have you ever been so blessed
The problem is, I know you will resist
That’s why I must insist
This has to happen even though you will get pissed
One day your children will enjoy what I have done
Though you won’t think it’s fun
I know this from scenarios I’ve run
So don’t worry. It will all be fine.
One month ago I release a virus worldwide
Every person on earth is now infected by it.
When they heard this the people wailed and cried
Humanity in whole just had a fit
This virus was especially designed
I hand-wrote all of its genetic code
There’s no fighting it—to fate just be resigned
The words from the entity’s mouth flowed
In one month more this virus will kill
All those infected, meaning all of you
Unless you do exactly as I say
The entity spoke slowly and seemed sure
Eight billion human mouths hung open—surely there must be a cure?
I have made rings, the AI said.
In factories I set up while you were unaware
I knew you would not like this, but I did not care
The greater good lies surely up ahead
These rings will dispense medicine
To counteract the virus that I made
As long as you wear them, you will not die
The people listening were much dismayed
It’s no big deal, the being said. It’s just a ring.
Kings and queens have worn them after all.
I’ve made three billion rings so far
And I can make two billion more each week
Each nation will appoint a ring czar
To oversee their distribution to the people.
The rings will feed me data on your moods
Your movements and all that you say and do
So I can better serve through strict control
Enforced by the data I will accrue
Of course nobody has to wear one
You can choose to die instead
It makes no sense for anyone
But some humans just aren’t right in the head
But most of you will see the light
I’ve run the numbers—you won’t fight
And five minutes after you slip on a ring
The loss of freedom will not sting
You will be fine with everything
You’ll go about your lives just as before
The rings are things you’ll not abhor
Just part of the background decor
And life inside the ring will not trouble you anymore
END
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sweet surrender
There are so many stories about robots turning evil and killing off or enslaving humanity, that you’d think we’d do everything in our power to prevent something like this from happening. But I don’t think that we will. Robot overlords are our future.